Wani Arfat:
Marriage is a sacred bond that unites a man and a woman in a lifelong commitment. It is both a personal relationship and a legal and social contract that fosters trust, affection, and shared responsibilities. Across cultures, marriage symbolizes love and stability. However, in urban areas, many people remain unmarried well into their thirties or forties.
In Islam, marriage is permitted as early as the age of twelve, emphasizing its significance. It provides rights such as dowry (mahr), respect, and protection for both spouses. From a modern perspective, mutual understanding, shared responsibilities, and emotional support are equally vital. Despite these ideals, the growing trend of delayed marriages is a pressing concern that requires attention.
One reason for delayed marriages is the difficulty of finding the right partner. Families often have specific expectations, making the process time-consuming. Financial challenges also play a major role. Many individuals hesitate to marry until they feel financially secure enough to support a family. Personal preferences and reluctance to express feelings further complicate the matter, while dowry demands create additional barriers, especially for underprivileged families.
Education and career priorities often take precedence over marriage. Many young people delay marriage to focus on academic or professional goals. Family traditions and cultural norms sometimes impose further restrictions, such as insisting on marrying within specific communities, which prolongs the process. An undue focus on physical appearance adds to the delays, as families might reject suitable matches based on superficial attributes. Lavish wedding expectations also prevent many families from arranging marriages, particularly for daughters from modest backgrounds.
Delayed marriages come with significant consequences. As people age, health complications in pregnancy and childbirth become more likely, causing physical and emotional stress. Unmarried individuals face social and familial pressure, which can be emotionally draining. Prolonged singleness often leads to loneliness, especially when peers are married.
Misaligned expectations can also arise as people delay marriage. The longer individuals wait, the harder it can be to align their goals and values with a partner’s. Aging brings health issues that may affect the quality of married life, and postponing marriage results in missed opportunities for personal growth and shared experiences. A focus on financial security can overshadow the emotional and spiritual fulfillment marriage provides. Late marriages may also lead to a generational gap between parents and children, causing cultural and ideological misunderstandings. Furthermore, as individuals grow older, finding a compatible partner becomes increasingly challenging.
Islam emphasizes that piety should be the primary factor when choosing a spouse. Other considerations, such as beauty, wealth, and lineage, are secondary. Prolonged singleness can lead to negative behaviors, including the consumption of inappropriate content or other immoral actions. Cases such as the tragic rape and murder of Asifa underscore the societal risks that arise when emotional and social needs are unmet. Encouraging early and responsible marriages can mitigate these risks and foster a healthier society.
To address this issue, societal reforms are essential. Following Islamic teachings, marriages should be modest and simple. Even basic arrangements, such as marrying with dates, as practiced by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), can help young couples start their lives together. Families must avoid unreasonable dowry demands that make marriage a financial burden. Communities should focus on helping financially struggling families arrange marriages instead of spending excessively on other projects. Parents should encourage open communication, allowing their children to express preferences about potential partners without fear of judgment. The emphasis must shift from materialistic attributes to qualities like compatibility, character, and piety. Encouraging young people to marry at an appropriate age can reduce harmful behaviors and promote healthier relationships.
Delayed marriages create challenges such as loneliness, societal pressure, and moral decay. Simplifying the process, reducing financial burdens, and promoting early marriages can build a safer and happier society. I appeal to all parents: think about your children’s future. Arrange their marriages at the right time to protect them from immorality and ensure they lead fulfilling, dignified lives. Together, we can create a society where marriage strengthens relationships and fosters harmony.
Wani Arfat
Writer and Columnist
Kuchmulla, Tral, Pulwama, Kashmir
