Dr. Sheikh Arshid Ahmad
Human society flourishes through cooperation, compassion, love, goodwill, and gratitude. When people respect one another’s rights, acknowledge the help they receive, and express appreciation, they strengthen the foundations of peace, trust, and harmony.
When gratitude disappears, however, arrogance, pride, jealousy, selfishness, and resentment often take its place. Relationships that were once built on mutual respect can gradually become marked by suspicion, hostility, and conflict.
Human beings respond to kindness in different ways. Some remember even the smallest act of generosity throughout their lives. They honor those who helped them, pray for them, and seek opportunities to return that kindness. Such people possess humility, integrity, and moral strength. They regard gratitude as both a virtue and a duty.
Others allow ego, insecurity, envy, ambition, or a sense of superiority to cloud their judgment. Instead of viewing kindness as a blessing, they see it as an uncomfortable reminder of dependence. Rather than expressing gratitude, they develop resentment toward those who once supported them. In extreme cases, that resentment can evolve into opposition and even hostility.
To escape the burden of acknowledging a favor, some individuals attempt to belittle, discredit, or undermine their benefactors. Psychologists describe this as a form of psychological discomfort. Those who lack humility may reduce this discomfort by devaluing the person who helped them instead of expressing appreciation. Ironically, the benefactor may become the target of criticism.
Fortunately, this is not the response of everyone. Many honorable people never forget those who stood beside them in difficult times. They believe loyalty is a reflection of character and consider gratitude an expression of dignity. For them, kindness nurtures lasting respect and enduring relationships.
Gratitude and ingratitude are both part of human nature, but the path a person chooses reflects their upbringing, values, faith, and moral character.
Sadly, many aspects of modern political, social, religious, and educational life reveal a growing culture of ingratitude. In pursuit of power, recognition, or personal gain, some people turn against those who once supported them. Such behavior weakens institutions, damages relationships, and erodes public trust.
A truly civilized person appreciates the good done to them and maintains justice and respect even during disagreements. This wisdom is reflected in a saying attributed to Sayyiduna Ali (may Allah be pleased with him):
“Be mindful of the harm that may arise from the one to whom you have shown kindness.”
This should not be interpreted as a condemnation of everyone who receives kindness. Rather, it serves as a reminder that individuals lacking moral character may respond to generosity with resentment instead of gratitude.
An Arab poet expressed the same truth:
“When you extend kindness to a noble person, you earn their affection. When you extend kindness to a person of ignoble character, you may invite their rebellion.”
The contrast between gratitude and rebellion has deep moral and psychological roots. Acknowledging a benefactor requires humility and acceptance that another person contributed to one’s success or well being. For those whose ego cannot accept this reality, gratitude becomes difficult.
As one writer observed, the roots of ingratitude often lie in the unwillingness to acknowledge another’s contribution. Recognizing a benefactor may appear to diminish one’s own importance. To protect their ego, some people deny the value of the kindness they received or attempt to diminish the person who offered it. In doing so, they justify their own ingratitude.
True greatness lies in recognizing the good others have done for us. Gratitude reflects nobility of character, while ingratitude diminishes both the individual and society. A culture that values appreciation, loyalty, and humility builds stronger relationships and a more compassionate world.
