Muhammad Elyaas
In an era where global education has become a prized possession, many parents are more than willing to send their children far from home in the pursuit of academic excellence. After all, what could be more rewarding than securing a prestigious degree and ensuring a bright future? But, wait—have you considered the other side of this seemingly perfect arrangement? What could possibly go wrong?
If you are a parent dreaming of sending your child to a far-flung city or country to pursue education, believing that this will guarantee their success, you may need to reconsider. As I recently discovered through an eye-opening encounter, the dangers and challenges of away-from-home education are real and can be devastating. The romanticized view of independent living and studying in an unfamiliar city or country can be quickly overshadowed by risky behaviors, poor choices, and the erosion of the values that you spent years trying to instill.
A Not-So-Ideal Reality
I had the chance to meet a 21-year-old girl studying in Srinagar, a city known for its rich culture and educational opportunities. On the surface, she seemed like any other college student. Yet as we talked, the reality of her life away from home shattered the polished image I had in mind. Here was someone who had left home to pursue an education, but instead, she had plunged into a lifestyle that seemed more suited for a much older, jaded individual. The most startling part? Her father had been sacrificing financially and emotionally to ensure her success, believing that his daughter was safe, thriving, and focused on her studies. How wrong he was.
As we talked, the conversation took a dark and unsettling turn. She casually admitted to participating in late-night meetings with the homeowner’s children, and the details she shared were more fitting for a soap opera than the academic life she was supposed to be leading. The ease with which she spoke about it, completely oblivious to the shock it might elicit, was enough to ring alarm bells.
If that wasn’t bad enough, the revelation that she smoked hookah felt like a punch to the gut. Let’s take a moment to digest that—hookah. A practice with well-documented health risks, including addiction and respiratory problems, had become her way of dealing with stress. So much for higher education being an avenue for intellectual growth. How ironic, really. She had stepped into what should have been the most formative years of her academic career and instead found herself indulging in harmful habits, likely unaware (or unconcerned) about the long-term consequences.
The Illusion of Independence
It gets worse. The following day, she suggested a video call. Hesitant but curious, I accepted. What I saw during the call was a further testament to how young people can go astray when they are left without the guidance they so desperately need. She appeared on the screen in attire that was, to put it lightly, inappropriate for a casual conversation. It wasn’t just her choice of clothing that was troubling, but her demeanor during the call, casually chatting with strangers who had no place in what should have been her circle of trust. It was a harsh reality check for me—and should be for any parent considering sending their child away for education.
We often equate moving away from home with the development of independence, maturity, and self-discipline. We think, “They’ll learn to handle themselves.” But the truth is, many young adults are simply not ready to handle the pressures and temptations that come with living on their own, especially in an unfamiliar environment. Far too often, what should be a time of personal growth becomes a period of reckless decision-making and poor lifestyle choices.
The Hidden Dangers of Freedom
Let’s not kid ourselves—when young people are away from home, it’s not just academic challenges they face. There’s also the freedom to make decisions without parental supervision. And while we like to believe that they will make responsible choices, reality suggests otherwise.
You may be confident in your child’s ability to focus on their studies and make the right friends, but peer pressure is powerful. The desire to fit in, to experiment, to do something that’s “cool” can easily overshadow the more rational part of the brain. It starts small—staying out a bit later than usual, skipping a few classes. But soon, the slippery slope turns into risky behaviors, like smoking, alcohol consumption, and engaging in unsupervised relationships. At that point, their education is no longer the primary focus; survival in this new social world becomes the priority.
What makes it worse is that many parents remain blissfully unaware of the chaos. You’re proud of your child, assuming they are attending lectures and acing their exams, while in reality, they might be failing academically and socially. Without the safety net of home, these young adults are left to navigate the complicated world of adulthood, often with disastrous results.
So, What Can Parents Do?
Now that we’ve acknowledged the potential perils of sending your child away for education, the question becomes: what can you do to prevent this from happening?
1. Regular Communication – But Not Just Superficial Chats
Sure, you talk to your child every day, but how deep do those conversations go? It’s crucial to establish open lines of communication where your child feels safe discussing not just their academic progress but their personal life as well. Encourage them to share their experiences, even if they might be uncomfortable topics. Listen without judgment—your goal is to understand what’s going on.
2. Surprise Visits – The Power of Showing Up
Unannounced visits might seem intrusive, but they can provide valuable insights into how your child is really living. There’s no better way to gauge their environment, social circle, and overall well-being than by seeing it firsthand. It also serves as a reminder that you care and are involved in their life, no matter the distance.
3. Setting Boundaries – Even When You’re Not There
Clear boundaries and expectations should be established before your child leaves home. Make sure they understand the importance of maintaining a balance between academic success and social life. Discuss cultural norms and the dangers of engaging in risky behaviors like substance abuse. Setting these guidelines gives your child a moral compass to follow, even when you’re not physically present.
4. Creating a Support Network – They Can’t Do It Alone
Encourage your child to build a strong network of supportive friends, mentors, or even local families who can offer guidance. Sometimes, all it takes is a grounded individual to keep them from making poor decisions. This network can act as a secondary safety net when you’re miles away.
5. Stay Informed – Ignorance Isn’t Bliss
Educate yourself about the customs, culture, and societal norms of the place where your child will be studying. The more you know, the better you can prepare your child for potential pitfalls. Understanding the local culture also helps you offer better advice on navigating tricky social situations.
Conclusion: A Wake-Up Call
Sending your child away for education might seem like a no-brainer, but it requires careful thought, vigilance, and preparation. The dangers are real, and the stakes are high. It’s not just about getting a degree; it’s about making sure that your child emerges from this experience as a well-rounded, responsible adult. Because at the end of the day, what good is a degree if it comes at the cost of their health, safety, or sense of self-worth? So yes, go ahead—send them away for that prestigious education. But keep your eyes wide open, because what could possibly go wrong?
