Marriage, a sacred bond designed to bring companionship and stability, is a cornerstone of Islam. It was never meant to be a burden, never intended to be wrapped in material demands or societal pressures. Yet, in Jammu & Kashmir, the very essence of marriage is being eroded, replaced by cultural expectations that contradict the values of simplicity and equality. The consequences are devastating. Today, over 1.5 lakh women in the region have crossed the traditional marriageable age, left waiting, held back not by fate but by man-made barriers—unrealistic dowry demands, materialistic biases, extravagant wedding rituals, and hollow social standards.
The dowry system, though un-Islamic, continues to plague our society like a stubborn illness. Families, already strained by financial limitations, are often crippled by the weight of dowry demands. Daughters sit at home, unmarried, not because of a lack of character, education, or values, but because their families cannot afford the price society has attached to their futures. This shameful practice mocks the teachings of Islam, where the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) called for marriages to be simple and dignified, with no room for demands or greed. Yet, in every corner of Kashmir, dowry remains a cruel reality, making a mockery of what is supposed to be a sacred bond of love and companionship.
Adding to this crisis is the obsession with government jobs and wealth. A man’s worth, it seems, is no longer measured by his character, piety, or education, but by the stability of his income or the weight of his wallet. This materialistic approach has created an unfair divide, where hardworking and educated young men are overlooked simply because they do not carry the golden label of a government employee or businessman. These are not the values that Islam teaches us. Islam holds character above all, reminding us that wealth is temporary, but faith and integrity endure. Yet, societal expectations continue to poison the process of marriage, leaving both men and women in frustration and despair.
And what of our obsession with weddings themselves? Lavish celebrations, sprawling guest lists, and extravagant displays of wealth have turned what should be a joyous, modest occasion into a financial nightmare. How many families have delayed the marriage of their daughters simply because they could not afford to meet the “standards” set by their neighbors or relatives? How many weddings have left parents drowning in debt, sacrificing years of savings for a single day of pomp and show? This is not the simplicity that Islam prescribes. The Prophet (PBUH) himself said, “The best marriage is one that is easiest to conduct.” Yet, we have allowed our desire for social validation to overtake the values of humility and reason.
The crisis deepens when we look at the plight of educated women. In many parts of rural and urban Kashmir alike, families insist on finding grooms who match or exceed their daughters’ educational qualifications, financial standing, or societal status. It is an impossible standard, narrowing the pool of prospects and leaving countless women with no option but to wait indefinitely. Here again, societal ego takes precedence over compassion, practicality, and the basic teachings of Islam, which emphasize mutual respect, compatibility, and shared values over worldly measures of success.
This crisis is not someone else’s problem—it is ours. It reflects our collective failure to uphold the principles of simplicity, equality, and justice that Islam so clearly advocates. How will we answer before Allah Almighty when asked why we let these barriers persist? How will we justify the suffering of our daughters, our sisters, and our young men who remain trapped in this web of greed, pride, and outdated traditions? Islam has already shown us the way forward. It calls for simplicity in marriage, for the rejection of dowries, for an emphasis on character over wealth, and for weddings that are affordable and accessible to all. Yet, we choose to ignore these solutions, turning instead to practices that bring nothing but hardship.
This cannot go on. Village elders, city councils, religious leaders, NGOs, and communities must rise to the occasion and take collective action. We must reject the dowry system outright, calling it what it is—an un-Islamic, unjust burden that must end. We must challenge the obsession with wealth and government jobs, teaching our youth that a person’s worth is found in their character and values, not their income. We must bring back the tradition of simple Nikah ceremonies, where love and faith are celebrated, not wealth and vanity. And we must lend a helping hand to struggling families, organizing collective weddings, offering support through Zakat and Sadaqah, and creating networks that ensure no daughter is denied marriage because of financial constraints.
This is not an impossible task. It begins with each of us taking a stand, rejecting harmful norms, and embracing the simplicity that Islam commands. Imagine a Kashmir where marriages are celebrated for their beauty, not their cost; where dowry demands are unheard of; where every educated young man and woman has an equal chance to build a future based on love, respect, and faith. This is the society we must strive for—because anything less is a betrayal of our values and our humanity.
The time to act is now. To the people of Jammu & Kashmir: let us rise together and reject the practices that divide us, delay marriages, and burden our families. Let us embrace the simplicity and equality that Islam calls for and restore dignity to this sacred institution. If we remain silent, if we allow this crisis to continue, how will we face Allah Almighty on the Day of Judgment? The solution lies within us. It begins with rejecting the dowry system, saying no to extravagance, and choosing character over wealth. It begins with compassion, with understanding, and with a commitment to building a better future for all.
Together, we can end this crisis. Together, we can ensure that every daughter, every sister, and every young man in Jammu & Kashmir has the chance to marry with dignity, ease, and joy. It is time to act—not tomorrow, not someday, but now.
Mohmad Husain Lone
Email: husainamin13@gmail.com
Phone: +91 9797871248
