Author : Umair Ashraf , is a Psychologist & Mental Health Advocate.
While walking along the road, an unexpected and disturbing incident unfolded in front of several residents and passers-by. A woman was being thrashed by another woman, while a man standing with them claimed to be her husband and the other woman introduced herself as the victim’s sister. The woman identifying herself as the sister appeared to be in her mid-thirties, while both the victim and the man claiming to be her husband seemed to be around thirty. The scene created visible discomfort among people around. Individuals slowed down, watched briefly, and then continued walking. What was happening was not hidden, yet hesitation surrounded the space. It felt like a real example of what psychology describes as the bystander effect—when many people witness wrongdoing but assume someone else will intervene.
Amid this confusion, the victim turned directly toward me. With visible fear on her face, she folded her hands and urgently asked for help. Her desperation was difficult to ignore. While the assault continued, I recorded the situation and tried to understand what had happened. She explained that she had run away from home because she was being tortured there and feared returning to the same environment.
Soon after, an auto was hired by the individuals accompanying her, apparently to take her away. Considering that she had already pleaded for help and feared being forced back, I followed the auto to ensure that her concerns were not ignored. What had begun as a routine walk gradually turned into an intervention that led the woman to the concerned jurisdiction police station in Soura so that the matter could be formally reported.
At the police station, the matter was handled with cooperation. A social activist working for women’s safety also assisted in managing the process. Although the S.H.O was not physically present, he communicated with the staff and directed them to follow the case seriously. The complaint was then guided toward proper documentation and the initiation of a First Information Report in her favour.
In coordinating the process so that the case moved forward, I communicated with Masrat ji, Editor of Heaven Mail, whose prompt response strengthened the effort, while Sania ji helped ensure that coordination with the authorities proceeded smoothly. Through these combined efforts, the complaint was formally recorded and the FIR process was initiated.
While these procedures were taking place, another moment quietly revealed how widespread such suffering might be. Another young lady stood nearby at the station. She appeared well dressed, yet clear injuries could be noticed on her face, surrounded by dark circles. For some time she remained hesitant, but eventually she approached me and spoke softly. Pointing toward the marks on her face, she disclosed that she too had been facing violence and seemed to hope that her situation might also find a voice.
Moments like these raise a troubling thought: if one such incident appears suddenly on the road, how many similar cases remain hidden inside homes and go unreported? Domestic violence rarely affects only two partners. Its impact spreads across the entire household. Children growing up in such environments observe everything. What they repeatedly see inside their homes often becomes their earliest lesson about relationships. When aggression, humiliation, and fear become normal scenes, these patterns can turn into maladaptive learning, where children begin to see such behaviour as ordinary and later imitate it in their own lives. In this way, violence silently reproduces itself across generations.
During the interaction that followed, the husband of the first woman was also engaged in conversation. He acknowledged that drugs had gradually become part of his life and had contributed to the aggression within the household. As a psychologist, I offered him on-the-spot counselling, explaining how addiction and uncontrolled behaviour were harming both his marriage and his own future, while informing him about available treatment and intervention options. As the discussion progressed, he expressed willingness to seek help and spoke about taking responsibility for rebuilding his life. To ensure professional care and follow-up, I referred him to ,IMHANS-K.
Experiences like this show why awareness must move beyond occasional discussions and reach everyday community spaces. It should not remain limited to formal programs or student speeches. It must reach the mohallas where families live together. Religious and community leaders can also play an important role by reminding communities about responsibility within families and the consequences of drugs and violence.
Equally important is overcoming the hesitation created by the bystander effect. Many people remain silent because they fear police procedures or social judgement. Yet this experience showed that authorities can cooperate when approached responsibly. The police staff at Soura police station handled the matter seriously once it was brought before them, and the SHO’s directions ensured that the complaint was properly followed.
What began as a routine moment on the road revealed something larger about society. Domestic abuse often remains hidden until a cry for help appears in public. At that moment, the difference between silence and action can determine whether the victim returns to suffering or finally reaches support. When faces turn away, such cases disappear. But when someone pauses instead of walking past and carries the matter forward, the possibility of justice begins to open.
