By Advocate Kausar Hassan
The recent horrific incident in Pahalgam, where a pregnant woman was brutally murdered by her husband, has once again exposed the dark underbelly of domestic violence and dowry related abuse in Kashmir. This tragic event, involving a young woman in the most vulnerable stage of her life, is a stark reminder of the oppressive cultural practices and materialistic values that continue to plague Kashmiri society.
As an advocate, I have witnessed numerous such cases where women suffer unimaginable abuse under the guise of dowry demands, and sometimes, innocent men are unfairly entangled in false accusations. The Pahalgam tragedy sheds light on the urgent need for societal reform and a balanced legal system that ensures justice for genuine victims while preventing misuse of laws.
The pahalgam Incident and its Context:
The victim, who was pregnant, was allegedly murdered by her husband following prolonged domestic disputes. Reports suggest her body was burned post-murder, a chilling act of cruelty that has left the community outraged. While investigations are ongoing, the incident has brought to light the pressing issues of dowry demands and societal expectations that make women easy targets in marital homes.
This tragedy is not an isolated case. Kashmir has seen a disturbing rise in similar incidents, such as the Handwara dowry death of 2022 and the Srinagar bride burning case of 2021. These patterns reveal a society trapped in materialistic values, where women’s worth is tied to the wealth they bring into their marriages.
The Role of Dowry and Extravagant Marriages
In Kashmiri society, the culture of lavish weddings, known as “big fat marriages,” exacerbates the problem. Families are often pressured to spend exorbitant amounts on weddings, including gold, cash, and household items, disguised as gifts. This cultural norm fuels dowry demands, leading to financial strain and post-marriage conflicts.
In cases where families fail to meet these demands, the burden falls on the bride, who becomes a victim of emotional, physical, and sometimes fatal abuse. The Pahalgam incident is a tragic reflection of this toxic cycle.
The Flip Side: False Accusations and Legal Misuse
While many women face genuine oppression, it is equally important to recognize the misuse of laws like Section 498A of the IPC (cruelty by husband or relatives) and maintenance provisions. In my practice, I have encountered cases where men, despite being innocent, were falsely accused of domestic violence or dowry harassment, often as a tool for revenge or financial gain.
This misuse not only harms innocent individuals but also undermines the credibility of genuine victims, creating a complex challenge for the judicial system.
The question we must ask ourselves is this: where did we go wrong? How did marriages, which were once sanctified by love and mutual respect, become an arena for financial transactions? The answer lies in the overwhelming societal pressure to conform to an image of success that is defined by wealth, rather than personal connection. Instead of asking how much dowry a family can afford, we should be asking how much love and respect can be nurtured between two people.
The Pahalgam incident, like many before it, calls for a fundamental shift in how we approach marriage. It is time to redefine what it means to be successful in a marriage not by the opulence of the wedding or the wealth exchanged but by the depth of the bond shared between two individuals. Simple weddings, grounded in values of equality, love, and respect, can break the vicious cycle of materialism and violence that has marred so many lives.
It is essential that we move beyond the superficiality of “big fat marriages” and instead focus on creating partnerships built on mutual understanding and compassion. Both men and women must be seen as equal partners, not pawns in a societal game where dowry and material wealth hold the most power. Let the Pahalgam tragedy serve as a stark reminder that no amount of gold or cash is worth more than a human life, and no wedding celebration should come at the cost of another person’s dignity.
The Pahalgam tragedy forces us to confront the deadly consequences of materialism in marriage. It’s time to prioritize love and respect over wealth, and restore the true essence of partnership, free from societal pressures and greed.
Adv kausar Hassan
Advocate at Munsif court sumbal
LL.M. Scholar at Central University of Kashmir
E mail: advkausarhassan@gmail.com
