A Muslim Man’s Battle With Pornography Addiction
Peerzada Masarat Shah
In today’s hyper-connected world, access to explicit content is just a click away. While many dismiss pornography as a harmless indulgence, its impact on mental health, personal relationships, and spiritual well-being is increasingly alarming. For one man from our community, the consequences have been devastating—shaping a life marked by regret, isolation, and loss. In a candid account shared exclusively with KNC, he narrates his harrowing journey through pornography addiction, hoping to warn others against falling into the same trap.
Early Exposure and the Birth of Addiction
The man, who wishes to remain anonymous for personal reasons, recounts that his exposure to pornography began at the age of 12. Shockingly, it was introduced to him by his father’s co-wife, a family member he trusted. “She showed me pornography when I was just 12 years old,” he recalls, his voice heavy with remorse. What might have been a moment of curiosity quickly became an obsession. He began secretly collecting explicit content, smuggling DVDs from her room to watch alone in private.
For five formative years, pornography consumed his daily life. “I would buy 12 DVDs at a time and watch them from morning to night without pause,” he says. The habit, he admits, became all-encompassing, leaving no room for other interests, studies, or spiritual practice. By the time he was 18, masturbation had entered the equation, further deepening his dependency.
The Physical Consequences
By the age of 20, the addiction had led him into sexual activity outside of lawful bounds. His first sexual encounter was with a prostitute, which resulted in a sexually transmitted disease (STD). “I was lucky to survive,” he confesses. The physical impact was severe, requiring months of isolation and medical treatment. “I almost lost my penis,” he adds, emphasizing the real dangers of early exposure to pornography and sexual exploitation.
Even after recovering from the STD, the damage did not end. He began noticing his eyesight deteriorating. By the age of 22, he required glasses, and at times, his eyes would release a milky fluid resembling tears. The addiction’s toll extended beyond the body. He recalls a profound spiritual decline. “I used to memorize the Quran and had completed more than half of it. Slowly, I lost everything,” he says, describing a painful disconnect from his faith.
Mental and Emotional Decline
Pornography addiction, he explains, did not merely affect his body; it profoundly altered his mind. Once a bright and intelligent student, he noticed a decline in his memory and cognitive abilities. “My thoughts became corrupted. I started making irrational decisions. By the age of 26-28, I was mentally unstable, unable to understand simple instructions,” he recounts. Experts confirm that excessive exposure to pornography can cause lasting cognitive impairment, impairing focus, memory, and decision-making.
The man’s mental health deterioration extended into his relationships. Even after marriage, the addiction persisted, causing intimate dysfunction. “My penis could not perform properly, barely lasting two minutes,” he admits. This, coupled with continued consumption of pornography, led to a gradual erosion of his marriage. His wife eventually left him, citing his mental instability—a painful confirmation of the social and relational consequences of addiction.
Spiritual Struggle and Loss of Imaan
Equally profound was the spiritual impact. The man confesses that he lost fear of Allah and no longer observed his prayers. Sin became normalized in his life, and he became prone to violent thoughts and actions. “I lost everything—my dignity, my Imaan, and my ability to live a productive life,” he says. Religious scholars emphasize that pornography addiction can lead to a spiritual void, especially in devout communities where morality and self-control are central tenets.
Despite repeated attempts at repentance, relapse remained a constant challenge. “I have repented a million times, but after a month or so, I return to pornography,” he admits. This cycle of guilt and relapse is typical in addictive behaviors, highlighting the need for structured interventions, counseling, and spiritual guidance.
The Broader Implications of Pornography Addiction
Pornography is often glamorized as a harmless escape, yet research indicates it can be more addictive than cocaine or heroin. Neurologists explain that the brain’s reward system is intensely activated by visual sexual content, creating patterns of dependence that are difficult to break. Excessive consumption can result in impaired memory, emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.
Socially, pornography addiction isolates individuals. The man describes how he lost touch with friends and family, immersing himself in a private, destructive cycle. Psychologists warn that such isolation can exacerbate anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. “Addiction doesn’t only harm the individual; it affects families and communities,” notes Dr. Niyaz, a mental health professional familiar with addiction counseling in Kashmir.
A Cautionary Tale for the Community
Through his story, the man aims to send a clear message to Muslims, especially the youth. “If you are already watching porn, stop now. You cannot reverse the damage it will do to you. If you haven’t started, never try,” he warns. His words echo a broader concern: early exposure to pornography can set lifelong patterns of addiction, mental health deterioration, and spiritual decline.
He also emphasizes the role of prayer and faith as tools for recovery. “If you are a Muslim and believe in Allah, please pray for me. May Allah change me into a better person and cleanse my soul,” he pleads. The spiritual component is vital in many recovery programs in religious communities, offering hope alongside psychological and medical interventions.
Expert Insights
Experts emphasize that pornography addiction is a growing concern worldwide, including in South Asia. Dr. Masroor Kanji, a mental health professional, explains, “The brain’s reward pathways respond to pornography in ways similar to substance addiction. Early exposure is particularly harmful because the adolescent brain is still developing.”
Community leaders also stress preventive measures. Parents and guardians are urged to monitor children’s digital activity, create open communication channels about sexuality, and provide religious and moral guidance. Educational programs that raise awareness about the dangers of pornography are increasingly recommended in schools and community centers.
The Path to Recovery
Recovery from pornography addiction is challenging, often requiring a combination of psychological counseling, support groups, spiritual guidance, and personal discipline. Specialists recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to address compulsive behaviors and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
The man admits that his journey is ongoing. “I’m still addicted, and I struggle every day. But I hope that by sharing my story, I can prevent others from making the same mistakes,” he says. His honesty serves as a reminder that addiction is not a moral failing alone—it is a complex condition requiring understanding, support, and structured intervention.
Conclusion
Pornography addiction, particularly in conservative communities, is a taboo topic rarely discussed openly. Yet, stories like this reveal the profound physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences of exposure at an early age.
This man’s experience highlights the urgency of awareness, preventive education, and compassionate intervention. It also underscores the need for faith, community support, and mental health resources in combating this hidden epidemic.
As he concludes his story, his message is clear: “Do not fall into this trap. Protect your mind, your body, and your soul. May Allah forgive us, protect our offspring, the Ummah, and humanity from this disease.”
His plea is one of repentance, caution, and hope—a reminder that addiction can affect anyone, and recovery, though difficult, is always possible with the right support.
