Syed Majid Gilani
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary—a bond woven with love, respect, and emotional warmth. It thrives on daily kindness, mutual understanding, and shared effort. Yet, beneath the surface of many marriages, a silent pain festers. Countless devoted husbands, men who pour their hearts into their families, find their love unreciprocated, their efforts unnoticed. Their quiet endurance is mistaken for weakness, and their silence is misread as contentment. This emotional neglect chips away at the foundation of their relationships, leaving scars that are rarely acknowledged.
Picture a man like Arif, a schoolteacher who spends his days shaping young minds. After hours of grading papers and counseling students, he returns home, weary but hopeful for a moment of connection—a warm meal shared with his wife, Sana, or a simple “How was your day?” Instead, he’s greeted with silence. Sana is absorbed in her phone, barely glancing up. The dinner table, once a place of laughter, is now a quiet void. Arif’s attempts at conversation are met with one-word replies. Night after night, the home that should be his refuge becomes a place where his heart quietly aches.
This emotional distance isn’t always accidental. In some cases, it’s deliberate—a tool for control. Consider Zain, a factory worker who rises at dawn to provide for his family. His wife, Mariam, withholds affection, not out of indifference but as a way to keep Zain on edge. She responds to his gestures—a bouquet of flowers, a late-night errand—with shrugs or criticism. “You could’ve done better,” she says, dismissing his efforts. Zain, desperate for her approval, works harder, loves deeper, but the warmth he craves never comes. He begins to feel like a guest in his own home, yearning not for grand gestures but for a kind word, a touch, a sign that he matters.
When a man offers his heart unconditionally and receives only indifference, the toll is profound. Emotional neglect erodes his spirit. Take the example of Khalid, a software engineer who married his college sweetheart, Ayesha. In their early years, they dreamed of a life filled with love and adventure. But over time, Ayesha’s focus shifted to her social circle, leaving Khalid sidelined. His attempts to reconnect—planning date nights, writing heartfelt notes—are met with excuses or apathy. “I’m too tired,” Ayesha says, unaware that each rejection chips away at Khalid’s confidence. He starts to question his worth, his love reduced to a one-sided plea.
What begins as a vibrant journey fades into a colorless routine. The spark of trust dims, respect frays, and what remains is a hollow coexistence. The home becomes a shared address, not a shared life. Yet, instead of nurturing their bond, some wives weaponize emotions. They use silence, sarcasm, or blame to assert dominance, unaware that in doing so, they risk losing the man who once loved them beyond measure.
This pain isn’t inevitable. Solutions exist if both partners are willing to try. Honest conversation can bridge gaps—sitting down, without distractions, to share feelings and fears. For instance, when Omar noticed his wife, Noor, growing distant, he suggested they seek guidance from a trusted elder. Their conversations, mediated by Noor’s aunt, helped them rediscover empathy. Small gestures—like Noor leaving notes of gratitude or Omar planning walks together—rebuilt their bond. Patience, maturity, and sometimes external support can heal what silence breaks.
A wife’s respect and care are vital to a thriving marriage. When she includes her husband in decisions, listens to his concerns, or shows appreciation—perhaps thanking him for fixing the car or noticing his long hours—she strengthens their home. But deceit, insults, or disrespect—like belittling his family or dismissing his role—crack the foundation. A marriage, like a tree, cannot survive with severed roots.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that demands love, effort, and forgiveness. To build strong families and societies, we must acknowledge the quiet suffering of sincere husbands. Love and respect must flow both ways for a marriage to endure. If this cycle of neglect persists, we risk a future of fractured homes and wounded hearts. Strong families begin with mutual care—because when one partner’s pain is ignored, the entire foundation trembles.
(Syed Majid Gilani writes about relationships and values. Reach him at syedmajid6676@gmail.com.)
